After a two month journey alone working my butt off and living the solitary life, my fellow adventurer has returned home. Thom landed this week with jet lag to spare. As unhappy as I was by myself, I had grown used to it. Coming home from work to an empty, quiet house after a long day and spending my evenings at the gym, eating cereal for dinner as I read trashy novels on my Kindle was boring, boring, boring. I worked too much and had very little fun. But that was what had become normal. A bad normal but still, after two months, my new normal.
In strolls my funny, grumpy, messy, noisy, opinionated partner for life. Quiet no more. Yet, instead of being thrilled at his arrival, I was irritated at times and not appreciative like I should have been. Hell, Pink, our Ayi, was happier to see him than I was. I resented him taking up my time, not wanting to go to the gym when I did, needing to eat when I was fine with a piece of cheese and a glass of wine, talking while I was working on a project. You get it—driving me absolutely f&@#ing bat shit crazy.
At night, who was that hulk taking up my spacious bed and hogging the pillows??? My pillow was stolen while I was on a nocturnal bathroom break. Not. Funny. Finally, I went to the couch to get some rest away from this strange intruder. Waking up to him making coffee was a plus for sure and softened the transition. Going for foot massage and mani/pedi night was an entre into the life that we had known and embraced. Ahhh…nothing like a spa date to bring two people together again.
Thom getting pampered after his long journey home.
As our daily routine becomes once again filled with the happy sharing of lives, we have vowed not to ever do that living apart thing again. While there were solid reasons for having it happen, i.e. helping with the new baby, moving into our new Boise house, etc., it was NOT pretty. I’m not sure how a relationship can survive separations like this or how people survive life without a loving partner and I never want to try it. Thom, WELCOME HOME HONEY! Now, give me back my damned pillow and make us some coffee. Love you!
Good bye blue skies and fresh air! Hello grey, chunk-filled air that causes me to cough..hard. So long family and friends! Hello insane work schedule though I love what I do. Tomorrow I will make the long, long journey from Boise, Idaho to Beijing, China. Leaving behind my new granddaughter Mia and my lovely family including my husband, who will stay to oversee the purchase of our new home here in Boise, our retreat from China but primarily a vacation rental till we expatriate. Though I have been busy working from Boise to get ready for my big project in China, I have been blessed to at least be able to see the baby and family every night. We take a walk around the neighborhood-the whole crazy crew: Baby Mia, Hannah & Mike, Thom and I plus the crazy canine duo pulling us along, Izaak and Ollie, plus Det. Stabler, the only cat I know who goes for walks too. Now, I really don’t favor cats, being a dog person, but I will acknowledge that Det. Stabler is an unusually loyal and smart cat. Not that I ever want to support a cat again. Ever. I prefer dogs who love you always and never give attitude.
Thom enjoying some puppy love from our Izaak. I miss him so much!Det. Stabler coming along for the walk sans leash
For the next month or two, I will be all alone in Beijing working hard. More days in a hotel than I want to think about, not that it is a bad hotel but I miss being home. Our Ayi Pink probably thinks we bailed on her. I wonder what she does all day in the apartment with really nothing to do except dust the ever present dirt that is spewing out of the vents and hopefully watering our plants so they are not all dead by the time we return. The wave pool with sandy beach will be open for the summer by the time I return to Shanghai in late June. I’ve been watching the feral cats use this sandy beach as their own private litter box all winter while working out in the gym overlooking it. Wonder if they’ll clean up all the cat poop before the season starts? Oh, right, I live in China. Note to self–wear shoes in sand.
What do I miss from Shanghai? I miss the daily adventures walking the streets with Thom. Experiencing the unusual and crazy life in China. I don’t miss the pollution AT ALL. My lung scare is still top of mind and I don’t look forward to wearing my mask more to protect myself but I will because I value living and breathing. My CT scan showed lung damage caused by remote exposure to TB but thank God, I was tested and it’s not active TB. Did I get “exposed” to TB in China. Yep. Damn Subways. Oh well.
Three generations enjoying lunch on a sunny, clear day in Boise.
Packing today was an experience in futility. Due to the lure of low, low prices in the U.S., I may have overdone the shopping a bit. Well, maybe more like 20 or 30 pounds worth. Don’t judge me–the top size in China is a small 4 so I loaded up on the generous US sizing to help my self confidence. Now, I am forced to make my son bring over some of my clothes when he comes. Sorry dude but you’re Momma’s mule! (He doesn’t ever read my blog so I’m safe) He’ll come over with Thom at the first of July with an extra bag or two to have adventures all summer exploring the China that I’m too afraid to see. Yes, until you live outside the U.S. you never consider that your travel plans will be heavily influenced by the reality of “are there are toilets or not?” In pretty much all of rural China, it’s a definite “NOT”. No toilets, no go -just my policy. Men can go anywhere, anytime–females are challenged in that regard especially if you don’t like to squat by the side of the road. So, Thom and James will take the trains here and there and see lots of crazy shit I am sure. I will stay home and work where there are heated TOTO toilets close by–my new office is AMAZING!
So, on my last day in lovely Boise, we went to a great lunch, sat outside on the patio and soaked in the clean air. I will never, ever take for granted the simple things in life like being able to drink a margarita on the rocks with no worries that the “rocks” will be made of toxic water that will induce projectile vomiting. Ahhhhh….I will miss those little things….Beijing, watch out, here I come!
Living in China, I wasn’t able to see my daughter Hannah progress in her pregnancy except through social media and two brief visits. Arriving in Boise from Manhattan last week and walking her around Target at 10 p.m. to try and induce labor made it all real. Holy Crap-I’m a Nai Nai now! But I’m too young to be the “G.. word” and I live so far away–how can this possibly work? As Hannah often tells me, “Mom, it’s not all about you!” Really? I thought it was..
Me and Mia
Taking the assignment far, far away from family would be tough, sure, but I never expected that there would be a little Mia coming this quickly. Hannah and Mike have been married almost two years but she’s only just turned 23. I thought I would get away with a few years working overseas before I would enjoy this wonderful experience. Why didn’t they consult me first before beginning a family?? Oh, right, it’s not about me and my work schedule. Okay, I get it. Maybe.
Luckily, work brought me closer and allowed me to be here for Mia’s arrival. So at least I didn’t have to miss all of her life like I will after I return to China. Damn. After all the visitors in the hospital monopolizing little Mia and Thom was the worst by far, hardly sharing at all, I finally got to spend some quality time holding her once we got them all home. Our little one has slightly red hair in keeping with her Irish lineage of the O’Dwyers on Thom’s side plus her daddy’s coloring as well. The ginger runs strong in her. That she will be spoiled is an understatement. Her nursery already bursts with everything and more that any baby could every wish for or desire. Her Mama is a fashionista and so shall Mia be. Her substantial feet will be shod in the most trendy shoes with outfits to match. Hannah is a master of finding bargains online at various sites.
We will be launching an online business soon (more to come) and guess who will be the one and only model and namesake for our venture? Thank goodness she is so pretty! Yes, obviously I’m prejudiced but let’s face it, there are not so pretty babies out there that eventually grow into their looks but come out of the womb needing some time to adjust before they face the world.
So, on this Mother’s Day, I am now a Nai Nai. I helped my gorgeous, smart, talented daughter and her equally wonderful husband take Baby Mia home from the hospital to meet her animal siblings, Ollie the Great Dane and Izaak the Vizsla plus the ridiculously hairy cat, Detective Stabler. This brood went from being the “babies” of the family to just animals. Sorry, lady and gents but you are no longer the sole object of your parents affections. Move aside because that little bundle with a bow in her hair just took priority though you will all still be loved. Loving and protecting Mia is now your primary job vs. running after squirrels and chewing bones. Ollie & Izaak may get a little more variety in their diet as Mia starts eating solid food in the years to come, which will inevitably fall to the floor or into open mouths as they quickly learn where to position themselves to take advantage of feeding time. Yum–Cheerios and other delicious finger food flying your way soon! Puppies–please try to keep Mia out of your food bowl. Unlike Thom, who not only let Hannah eat dog food but staged it to take a picture because he thought it was so funny, Ollie and Izaak need to guard their food well because I am pretty sure that dog food can’t be good for babies and must taste horrible.
Enjoying Blue Skies in Boise
While we’re visiting this week, I’ll be working hard as my schedule is overwhelming right now but I’ll find time to hold Mia and help with the dogs, who need to run daily to be happy. Taking them out to frolic on the hills around Boise off leash, we hiked for miles on Mother’s Day enjoying the fresh air and blue skies. Boy, it will be so hard to leave here and go to Beijing on Saturday but go I will because I have a family to support and responsibilities to fulfill. Quite frankly I’m not sure how but I will find a way to make it work and be a good Nai Nai to Mia. One day I hope she will enjoy listening to stories about her crazy Nai Nai’s adventures in China, which will inspire her to see the world. Your Nai Nai loves you, Mia.
Travels with Melinda 