My cute adorable Thor is flying at my feet for ten F*#king long hours…he’s barely been out of the apartment in his short five months of life. How would he handle a journey that tests even the most journeyed traveller. Bad food, cramped quarters (no business class for us this time) and an airline mandate that he stays in his teeny, tiny softsided carrier at all times. Would he shit and piss the whole way? Would he bark and cry because he couldn’t play fetch with his beloved ragged ass squirrel that he has eaten the face off of? I braced myself for what could be the longest and worst flight of my life but Thor was worth it.  Today, Thor would become a US Citizen.

Prepping for the trip, Thor laid on Thom’s open suitcase while the final packing was being completed. He knew something was up and wanted to make sure he wasn’t left behind. Once we arrived at Pudong Airport, Thom walked him up and down the crowded sidewalk trying to get him to do his business but NOOOOO…..nothing came out. Great, he was saving it all up to dump at 30,000 feet at my feet. Our poor surrounding passengers would probably give us the stink eye all the way to Seattle or worse depending on Thor’s bowels. Armed with multiple pee pads, cleaning wipes and plastic bags, we braced ourselves for shit patrol big time.

So how do you quiet a puppy who loves to run and yap and play? Napping really isn’t in his DNA yet. Well, it seems that the magic collar is all you need. I had visited a doggy designer boutique on Capitol Hill in Seattle on my last trip. They were so helpful when I told them about my concerns for Thor’s upcoming trip. They even recommended I go to another store (since they didn’t carry it) and buy the Sentry calming collar made with who the hell knows what and I don’t care—IT WORKS!  It is a miracle product that I will endorse from the roof tops from now on.

Knowing the culture of Seattle, it probably has some medicinal weed woven into it. Knowing this could be a possibility and Thor could get the munchies mid-flight, I also bought some calming doggie treats but we didn’t even have to break those out or the bacon flavored bone that I got as backup. Thom stuck his water bottle to Thor’s lips and he lapped a little up. Of course, Thom knocked back the rest of it. UGHHH! But, Thom also ate street meat in China so nothing surprises me when it comes to what he does.  What are puppy germs when you’ve eaten Chinese rat on a stick chargrilled on an open kettle street fire.

Thor was so quiet and passive that we had to keep opening up the carrier to check and see if he was still breathing. Upon reflection, we decided that the collar was probably made for a huge 50 pound dog and little 4 pounder Thor was probably overwhelmed by the powers of it’s magic. Soon, Thor will be walking along the Seattle waterfront, enjoying the clean air and easy living in Seattle. From runt of the litter found in a stable by a kind Laowai lady who had just had the shit kicked out of her by her dirtbag husband who had taken all their money and left China with his local girlfriend. She took Thor to the Vet, got him medical treatment and then, having to leave the country because she couldn’t get a job to support herself, found us to take Thor as his foster parents. Our rescue puppy quickly became part of the family. So, from forgotten ailing stable misfit to superstar strutting his awesome self on the Seattle waterfront, Thor will now enjoy his US citizenship to the max and bring joy to all who encounter him.  Welcome to the USA, Thor!